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“The kingdom has been all aflutter by the seeming disappearance of Kate Middleton. Well, now internet sleuths are guessing that Kate’s absence may be related to her husband and the future king of England, William, having an affair,” Colbert said. “So I think we all know who the alleged other woman is. Say it with me: the Marchioness of Cholmondeley—what a beautiful name!”

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use this at my next meeting GOD BLESS